Many of my clients have reached out to me because they are at a point where they genuinely don’t know how to move forward.

In some cases, they have no desire to reconnect or reconcile with estranged kin, but due to the bonds of family, there is a strong chance they will cross paths again at some point.

In other cases, they desperately desire to reconnect and reconcile with estranged kin, but due to circumstances beyond their control, they may have to wait indefinitely to know if this can or will happen.

Considering the average length of an estrangement is 7.9 years, finding a way to actually LIVE whilst living with family estrangement is necessary. And one way to realistically approach living is to find some internal distance from the situation, or parking it, as I generally refer to it.

This is no easy way to do this, and it requires work as well as challenging beliefs around deserving to be happy and healthy.

One such approach was to actively schedule a daily reflective window of 30 minutes to journal or discuss the situation with someone you trust. Many of my clients have shared how they fell into a pattern of over-analyzing every family detail and spending countless hours discussing the same specific issue but never coming to a satisfactory conclusion. This would lead to problems with their partner, who felt both devalued but also helpless to affect positive change.

We all need time to think and talk (be heard), but keeping this within a tight timeframe facilitated this and then drawing a line under it. This created some sense of control and demonstrated a genuine attempt to prioritize other aspects of life, including relationships.

I will be discussing this and more during the next Online Estrangement Support Clinic, which will be held on January 25th (Thursday) from 8pm to 10.30pm (GMT, Irish/UK time). The option to sign up is now LIVE, and places are limited so secure your place by clicking this link.