I recently posted about the types of therapy biases experienced by the many estranged people I have spoken to, and this is demontrated in this recent agony-aunt style article a frustrated client shared with me. The person writing and her husband are struggling with her husband’s family, using the word ‘abusive’ twice to describe them, as well as other potential terms suggesting abuse, such ‘controlling’ … Continue reading Estrangement, Bias and Terrible Advice

During the process of researching family estrangement, it became clear the current length of time of the family distance was an important component, which determined several key details, such as how comfortable and ready a person was in discussing their situation and how much time they have had to reflect and come up with their own ideas/theories on the family history and dynamic. My latest video below discusses the … Continue reading How long are you estranged and why does it matter?

At this point, I don’t think anyone needs a reminder of how difficult Christmas is for those estranged from family. However, it is worthwhile discussing how exactly this period affects people. Watch this video discussing the most common challenges my clients have to contend with.   Take care Karl Continue reading Estrangement: The nightmare before, during and after Christmas

Christmas, Estrangement and Difficult QuestionsOne of the hardest social challenges of being estranged is trying to explain the situation to others. There is so much dense history and complex factors which led to the family situation, that it will feel impossible to encompass years of interactions in a few sentences. This might then be compounded with Christmas (and other holiday periods), when you might be … Continue reading Christmas, Estrangement and Difficult Questions

In the last few years, I’ve heard many stories of estranged individuals struggling to find the “right” therapist, having had negative experiences when they reached out to a professional and walked away feeling worse off. This is not true of all therapists, but some of the problems cited included: 1. Reconciliation Bias: Some therapists had an agenda around reconciliation, insisting the client ‘must’ reconnect and … Continue reading Estrangement, Therapy and Bias